so....everyone (besides brecken probably...) was sooooo grumpy during family pictures this year. it was freeeeezing cold, norman and i had argued about something right before (in true picture taking day fashion), grant literally cried in every picture.... you know...just normal things for family picture day... haha. but i wanted to share the rest of our pictures because at least brecken was cute!
but also i've been thinking.... gaining some perspective.... and wanted to write it down to remind myself of the important things in life. and i feel like i've talked about this before but i need the reminder time to time. so like i have mentioned before, we bought a house! and when you buy a house what do you want to do????? buy eeeeeeeeverything. i want to change this, and paint that, and get new couches here and new beds there and a dresser and a dining table, oh and since we have hardwood floors...gotta get some rugs, etc etc...the list LITERALLY never ends. so you go online to get inspiration for this new house and you see all these beautifully perfect homes. and you feel a little lame.... or start wishing you had something different... or more money to do what you wanted... or the creativity to make your home look "pinterest worthy" or "instagram worthy"... and sometimes i look at homes and the negative spiral starts.... and i'm like .. where is the reality here??? where is your garbage cans? and laundry baskets? or even stuff that your husband has and likes but is maybe not your taste and you can't get rid of it?? where is all that stuff? where is your mail? (is that just me that leaves mail laying around everywhere???) anyway... i just feel like it's not realistic!! and it angers me! and you know what?? it shouldn't. and that's what i have to remind myself.
because you know what i have come to realize? i get just as clean in my older, not so modern shower as someone who does in a beautiful white subway tiled shower. and my food tastes just as good in my small little kitchen as it would in a big kitchen with a beautiful island. and i sleep just as good with my DIY wood headboard as i would with an expensive bedroom set. i have just as meaningful, inspiring, and memorable conversations on my old couches as i would on brand new west elm couches. my kids have just as much fun in their not perfectly put together toy room as they would in one that was.
you get my point.
it's the experiences, the people, and the love in our homes that matter. and yes, i still want to make my home feel the way i want it to feel by decorating it the way i want to decorate... but it doesn't need to consume me or make me feel like a loser if i don't have everything i want all at once. and i'm cool with my house looking halfway put together until we can start getting those things i would like to have. but they aren't necessary to my happiness. my family is necessary to my happiness. dancing with grant to moana while brecken laughs at us in our living room with 4 different styles of furniture is what makes me happy, giving brecken and grant a bath and watching them splash and laugh and then drying them off with old bleach stained towels makes me happy, eating dinner at our TINY table on folding chairs with my family and listening to grant ask us funny questions and make funny faces while brecken literally eats his crumbs off the floor makes me happy, staying up late with my husband laughing at our favorite shows in our bedroom with clothes EVERYWHERE cause we don't yet have a dresser even makes me happy.
those are what i need to hold onto when i feel that negative spiral start..... the envy.... the pride looking up..... i want those moments to be fewer between the good moments where i appreciate the truly great people i have in my life and our experiences together, until eventually, that envy and pride is gone and i am just truly happy with what i have and where i'm at. so here's to feeling happy today! and feeling grateful for what i DO have instead of coveting what i don't.