Monday, February 24, 2014

today.

this morning i had every intention of finishing my blog post i began yesterday about my 36 week mark and some other thoughts i had been having about life. but when i checked my phone after awakening and my sister had informed me that 4 family members of one of my dearest friends had passed away due to carbon monoxide poisoning....i wasn't really in the "cheery lets talk about how my pregnancy is at 36 weeks" mood. although not a bad thing to talk about...other things were on my mind. and have been on my mind recently, and with this news, today i've decided to save the 36 weeks pregnant talk for another day and go straight to my "other thoughts".




stuff. things. stuff and things are so stupid.
 i have been constantly thinking of ideas to make my nursery "modern" and "cute" and "perfect
" in my eyes for our baby me. and finding the cutest most trendy little outfits for him to look handsome and dapper in. sometimes i get sucked into this blogging world and pinterest where everyone seems to have money to buy and do whatever they want to make everything look so fabulous, chic, trendy, modern, etc, etc. and i had a realization the other day while putting my little nursery together that i don't want to feel that pull and pressure anymore. and i don't need to. no one is forcing me to. i should be able to control myself enough to read others blogs and look at pinterest without envying what they have or where they are in life. is my baby going to care what shelves i got or where my rug is from or a "color scheme?" no. he's going to care that he has a roof over his head, a warm place to sleep, and someone who loves him. is he going to care if he's dressed like a baby gap model? no...he's going to care that he's not naked and cold. and that someone loves him enough to keep him clean and warm. sometimes people put too much emphasis on things that mean absolutely nothing. and i have been guilty of that lately. and have decided to change my perspective. i'm having a little boy. i'm having a sweet sweet little boy that my husband and i created using Godly power. i'm having a little boy who so far is healthy. i'm having a little boy who is being named after 4 of the greatest men in norman and mine's lives. we have created life. and we are starting a family together. doesn't that trump obsessing over color schemes and the right clothes? 

as i looked around my nursery after i had put everything in its proper place i realized all this. does my nursery look the way i had originally planned it to look? pinterest worthy even? no..does it need to? no...and as i sat there and looked at all that "stuff" in the room i realized that almost 100% of it came from someone we love, and who loves our little unborn baby boy. a crib from my sister. a blanket made from my cousin. a dresser made by norman's grandpa. pictures designed by a dear friend. a woody doll i received from my dad when i was little. a fire engine from grandparents and parents. a rocker from grandparents. a maternity picture taken by a friend. a book from an aunt. i could go on and on. literally almost everything in that room was a generous and loving gift from someone we love. nothing you post on pinterest is better than that.

as i heard about the death of these four wonderful people this morning....it reminds me again that this life is so precious. and "stuff" doesn't matter. "things" don't matter. people matter. love matters. relationships matter. it's moments like these where i am forever grateful for the knowledge i have that families are forever. that we will all see our loved ones again. but we have to always be doing today what we want to put off for tomorrow. because maybe tomorrow won't be there. maybe we will be a day late in telling someone sorry, or fixing that problem we have, or serving that neighbor that needs help, or studying our scriptures, or praying. maybe we will say tomorrow and tomorrow won't come. i know that our Savior died for us. I know that he is real. I know that he suffered for us so that we can live together again as eternal families. but we have to do our part. and today.... i recommit to be a little better and do a little more. 



feeling grateful for my eternal family.


***RIP to the Parrish family and my thoughts and prayers are with those left on this side of the veil. we love you all.

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