the reality of a newborn

so i have a hard time finding time to blog these days....in fact...i have a hard time finding time to do anything at all these days. life with a newborn is cra-zy.

and people tell you..."oh you won't get sleep" and "your life is about to change" and i believed them...but holy cow. the reality is so much harder.

grant was an ANGEL at the hospital. all he did was eat, poop, and sleep. like they said he would. i thought...man...this is going to be a breeze.

then we took him home.

and he threw us for a loop.

norman and i were soooo lucky my mom was there to help and keep us sane.

and to be honest...he really is a really good baby. but those first 2-3 days he was home he cried all.the.time. unless he was breastfeeding. which, mind you, hurt like nothing I've ever experienced soooo that was fun. i dreaded doing it. i won't go into too much detail but it was so very painful for me that first week and i wanted to quit so many times. i wanted to bawl every time he wanted to eat. it was miserable. and i felt like a loser. but we got through it. we made it through the first week and he turned back into an angel for the most part. and now after some practice, breast feeding is a lot better. 

he sleeps really good at night. on a normal good night i feed him at 11 ish, then 3 or 4, then not again til 7 or 8. so i can't complain too much. and during the day he eats every 2-3 hours. he does however have a few times during the day where he is just not a happy camper. we think its gas pain. poor guy.

but guys, being a mom is hard. there have been so many times already where i thought how do people have newborns with other children as well? there's no way i can do it. they are so time consuming and my life revolves around his eating schedule. but i tell ya....i love him so so so much. it's an incredible feeling to be the one they depend on. I love being the one who knows what he wants. I love being the one who knows how to soothe him. I love being the one to rock him to sleep and watch as his eyes get heavier and heavier until they finally close. I love how he smells. he knows i'm his mom. No one can really fully prepare you for what you go through taking care of a newborn... But it is so rewarding and you feel a kind of love that is hard to explain. I love this boy with all I am and we already can feel him filling that void to make our family a little more complete. 

We love you, grant.